A Pebble in My Shoe

Title: A Pebble in My Shoe: A Memoir

Author: Katherine Hoeger Flotz

Reviewer: Robert Sesek (inventor, lifelong student)

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Topic/Intent of book: A Pebble in My Shoe is a reflective memoir centered on grief, resilience, and the quiet, persistent ways loss shapes daily life. The author, Katherine Flotz, survived the ethnic cleansing of the Danube Swabian people of the Batschka in post-World War II Yugoslavia. She uses the metaphor of a pebble in one’s shoe to describe how grief is not always overwhelming or all-consuming, but rather a constant presence, sometimes barely noticeable, other times acutely painful, that alters how one moves through the world. Through personal narrative, the book explores mourning, memory, and the process of learning to live meaningfully alongside loss rather than attempting to eliminate it.

I selected this book because: I selected this book because the author, Katherine Flotz, is my aunt, the older sister of my late mother, Erna. My mother was much younger during the period referenced in the book and did not retain many direct memories of the atrocities and the escape described. As a result, much of her early experience was shaped by events that were rarely discussed within the family. This book offered a rare first-hand account of that time, providing insight into what my mother’s early life context may have been like through the perspective of someone who actually lived it and remembered it. Reading this memoir was a way to better understand my family history that had largely remained unspoken.

Recommendation: Yes! I recommend this book for readers who have experienced loss, displacement, or trauma, as well as for those seeking to deepen their capacity for empathy. The memoir offers a nuanced perspective on how hardship and grief shape individuals over time, making it particularly valuable for readers who want to better understand experiences beyond their own. It may also be meaningful for caregivers, educators, or family members looking to cultivate empathy for the lasting, often unseen impacts of personal trauma and historical events.

Major lessons from this book: A central lesson is that grief does not disappear; it integrates. The “pebble” metaphor reinforces the idea that loss becomes part of one’s lived experience, sometimes receding into the background and sometimes demanding attention. She emphasizes that there is no correct timeline or formula for grief, and that attempting to minimize or rationalize loss often compounds suffering. The book also highlights the importance of allowing space for contradictory emotions, sadness alongside gratitude, pain alongside love, and recognizing that these can coexist without invalidating one another.

Book inspirations: This book reinforced the idea that human resilience is often far greater than we assume, even in circumstances marked by profound hardship and uncertainty. It also underscores the importance of recognizing situations that are unjust or wrong and having the moral clarity to oppose them, rather than accepting them as inevitable. Finally, the book left me with a strong sense that hope is always possible, but not passive, it must be actively cultivated through choices, effort, and resolve. Together, these themes serve as a reminder that endurance, conscience, and hope are deeply interconnected.