When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic

Title: “Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic – and What we Can Do About it”

Author: Jennifer Breheny Wallace

Reviewer: Richard Sesek (educator, wantrepreneur)

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Topic/Intent of book: This book catalogs the unintended consequences of ultra-competitive “achievement culture.” The book addresses the impact of extrinsic motivation (e.g., grades, awards, college admissions, athletic accomplishments, and other external metrics) vs. internal motivation and the resulting mental health struggles of students and often the parents trying to support them (and, in some unfortunate cases, pushing them) in their pursuit of elusive “perfection.” The book introduces the concept of “mattering” and conveying to young people that they are valued unconditionally. Students need to understand that they have something meaningful to contribute to others and that they matter.

I selected this book because: This book was recommended by Dr. J-D Yoder, Dean of Engineering at Ohio Northern University (ONU). ONU prides itself on educating the whole student and taking personal interest in the success of their students. The title and overview J-D provided me were very compelling. I read this book because its premise, that an over-achieving attitude can be counterproductive, was something I have personally witnessed. The scale and impact of the problem is bigger than I had imagined.

Recommendation: Yes! I think this book has an audience with both parents and students seeking what is best in the long-run and helping them (students and parents) to redefine success in terms that go beyond the typical comparison metrics: school rankings, GPA, subsequent high-paying jobs or sought after job titles, and the “keeping up with the Joneses” hedonic treadmill that many over-achievers find themselves riding. I think this book is also valuable for educators at all levels to make them more aware of the impact of over-achiever culture and the role they may unwittingly be playing. The author includes survey data that show the discrepancy among student, parent, and teacher perceptions as well as the impact on student mental health and well-being.

I think it is incumbent on all parties (students, parents, educators, coaches, etc.) in higher-education and K-12 (even pre-K!) to “get a grip” and focus on more than simply grades and achievement. Students “academic careers” should not “end” if they are not at the top of their preschool class or do not test in the top percentiles in every subject. How much of life do we miss because we are always grinding? This book has helped rethink my own academic career (both as a student and professor). This book underscores how even the “college education of your dreams” is no guarantee of happiness in life and, in fact, may leave you always short of the happiness horizon.

Major lessons from this book: Encouraging achievement is a positive and worthwhile endeavor, but when achievement itself is used as a measure of worth, education (even life itself) becomes a zero-sum game with winners and mostly losers. We can always find someone that outshines us (there is always a bigger fish). As an educator I need to mindful when communicating with students. For example, asking questions like “how are you doing?” rather than “how did you do on the test?”. The concept of “mattering” is a powerful alternative to achievement as a source of personal identity and self-worth. This concept is more than telling students they are “special” or encouraging self-esteem. One’s sense of self should not be dependent on “succeeding” (or rather “winning”) every single time. Perfection is not necessary and perfectionism is counter-productive, particularly when it keeps people from exploring areas where they may fail (or simply not “win” or be the “best”). “Mattering” results when students build strong relationships, feel a sense of responsibility/contribution, and feel they are a part of community. Adults (educators, parents, and college students themselves) should examine their own achievement culture. Are you compromising or impeding your own happiness and life-satisfaction?

Book Inspirations: I will definitely pursue other books in this genre and by this author. This book forced me to more deeply contemplate the purpose and goals of higher education and my role in it. Achievement is important. Competition can be healthy and push us to be our best. In fact, in disciplines like engineering, certain levels of achievement are critical. Engineers must have proper training, education, and experience. However, not attending an elite, top-10 institution in your chosen discipline does not mean that you cannot be an effective, meaningful contributor to society. I plan to take greater care in how I communicate with students and focus on their growth, their curiosity, and, most importantly, on the fact that they matter. Great book!